Adventures in My Mind
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Feb 28, 2005
OK. I’ve had nearly a day to digest and form opinions on last night’s Academy Awards show.
First thought: not so much … or at least the attempt at not so much
Perennial Oscar producer Gil Cates has previously, and unsuccessfully, tried to shorten the famously long telecast. Last night he pulled no punches in trying to keep things moving. He was a bit too zealous for my taste though. Some of the tricks he tried seemed to be just that: tricks.
The two most ham-fisted approaches were the handing out of awards in the crowd and lining up nominees on the stage. Both were clearly attempts to get the eventual winner of the awards closer to the statuette thereby avoiding the boring scene of these “lesser” winners strolling down the aisle from their Siberian haunts at the back of the theatre.
Admittedly, that is not good TV, but these awkward solutions were just plain disrespectful. While the popular appeal of some categories like art direction, sound mixing, and animated short may not extend past like-minded professionals, immediate family members, and dedicated cineastes like myself, these people are talented and dedicated professionals who often do more for the advancement of the film form than any of the highly played beautiful people who sit in the first 5 rows. Treating them like retarded members of the Royal Family or like the evening’s menu at the Chicken Ranch brothel demeans them as both human beings and as the representatives of the best and brightest in their respective categories. And for what? So the show could be 3 hrs and 15 minutes long instead of 3 and 30?
It’s a long show, Gil. Get over it and give the respect that the Oscar demands, especially for the people who can’t parlay their Oscar success into a $20 million paycheck for their next film.
Second thought: all Beyonce all the time
Oh, yes. She is bootylicious! But three songs? C’mon, Gil, give us break. She can sing … marginally well. She can dance … marginally well. She can shake dat ass … Very well! But last night she was completely out of her league.
She sang the first song from Les Choristes like the French language was a cold fish in her mouth. I never thought I’d hear myself say this, but where is Celine Dion when you need her?
The second from The Phantom sounded like tryouts for high school chorus. Sir Andrew Lloyed Weber’s piano accompaniment had all the earmarks of a patient music instructor leading his beautiful but under-talented chanteuse through vocal chord stretching exercise. Hey wait …
And the third was just simply beating a dead horse. Josh Groban sang Believe for The Polar Express with his usual class and distinction. I’m not sure why he needed Ms. Knowles (Yes, children she has last name.) assistance for last night’s show? Is she under contract with Disney (parent company of ABC) or something?
Third thought: Chris Rock … not
Chris Rock is a funny man. Chris Rock is an edgy man. Chris Rock is funny because he is edgy. Last night he was neither.
Watching him spout harmless jokes written by a writing staff that had the threats of The Congress’s new astronomical fines for indecency was at times painful. The only true moment of comedy came not from Rock but the famously unfunny Sean Penn when he felt that he needed to defend Jude Law from an earlier Rock joke - a joke that Rock included himself in.
This just in: Sean Penn’s sense of humor is suing him for abandonment and emotional distress. Get a grip will you, Spiccoli? It was really the only joke that worked all night.
The rest of the night Rock wavered back and forth looking alternately like a deer in headlights and the Bumble after Hermey pulled out all of his teeth. There was just no soul or inspiration to his performance. His constant remarks to Jay-Z seemed more a cry for help than comments on Jay-Z’s girl, the afore mentioned Ms. Knowles.
Overall
It lacked luster. There was no heart to it. I even found myself laughing at the usually nauseating Robin Williams because at least he was trying! But even his take on potentially gay cartoon characters felt like he was under threat to avoid the really funny stuff for fear of Janet Jackson inspired indecency fine.
I think it all goes back to Gil Cates and his extraordinary efforts to shorten the length of the show. Nothing developed. There was no dramatic tension. And even at over 3 hours, it felt rushed.
Chris Rock said it best when he joked that next year there will be a drive through Oscar lane where you get your Oscar and a McFlurry and keep moving.
It really was one of the worst in recent memory.
Finally
Is anyone else frightened of Hillary Swank? Every time she smiles or speaks, I fear that those huge, sharp, overly white teeth of hers will be the end of me!
Trilogy of Terror anyone?
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 8:31 PM
Feb 19, 2005
George W. Bush. Because he says so.
Words Speak Louder than Actions
Did you vote for him? Shame on you. Shame on your false fears. Shame on your prejudices. Shame on your own inability to recognize the truth.
The damage that this single man and his cohort of liars and thieves has done is immeasurable. The damage that they will do, all in the name of (G)od and freedom, is unimaginable.
Of course, the best part is that most of you who re-elected him don't even understand why anyone should be upset that this moral and just man should be our leader.
And there in lies the problem. Sabe?
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 10:26 AM
Feb 13, 2005
Time to pony up some dough for a good cause.
Sami is in training to run a half marathon on March 26. She is being trained by The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society's TEAM in Training. In exchange for fundraising, TEAM in Training trains athletes and wanna be athletes to compete in endurance races like marathons, 1/2s, triathalons, and century bike races.
Sami's goal is $750. She is currently a litle over half way there. She needs your help to get closer.
Please visit Sami's TEAM in Training page to make a tax-deductible contribution.
She is also collecting the names of those she knows of who have been afflicted with leukemia and lymphoma. She plans to put their names on her race shirt. So far, the list includes many family members of our friends, including my own great grandfather, William Field. Please send along the name of someone you wish to have honored by Sami's run.
Sami is pumped for this run. She's more than capable of doing the run, but she needs donations to meet her other obligation. Please help her out.
Thank you.
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 9:37 PM
Feb 5, 2005
Welcome to Bizarro World!
Torture Boy, Alberto Gonzalez, has been confirmed as the new Attorney General.
Condi "Sista's Doin It for Herself" Rice, one of the architects of our new Shoot First Don't Ask Questions Later foreign policy is the new Secretary of State.
Rummy says that he offered to go after Abu Ghraib, but Shrub demured.
And I'm being asked by my president to ante up for his version of Texas Hold'Em that is sure to please every member of Dow Jones and NASDAQ.
When will this shit end? I mean really. Everyday its another insult. Everyday my good sense is assualted by a government that feels shockingly dynastic and out of control.
And this is the kind of stuff that they let see the light of day, that they proudly put on the news. This is the stuff that think will sell!
What kind of twisted thinking must go on when Rove closes the doors? Satanic rituals? Bathing in human blood? Thoughts on a new Final Solution for all who don't have southern accents, vote red, and cede all control to the Great Mammon of D.C?
Contemptible liars. Vile deceivers. Brazen bigots. I hope there is a special hell reserved for the lot of them.
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 2:14 PM
