Adventures in My Mind

Oct 26, 2004

Gonzo meanderings on the 2004 campaign season by perhaps the best post-modern writer in the business.

Fear and Loathing, Campaign 2004 by Hunter S. Thompson.

As for me, I can't wait until the whole thing is over. A win for Kerry will be like poor Ralphy wearing that stupid bunny costume from Aunt Clara. A win for Bush, well ... that just chaps my ass.

But really, win or lose, can't we just get this thing over with. This has been the longest and most ugly presidential campaign that I've seen. A true choice between the lesser of two evils. I'm sick of it.

I'm serious. Each campaign ad compounds this tight sort of swirling sensation in my stomach ...like that feeling you get just before that first flu-inspired run to the head.

Non sequitor: Does Bush have the gift of mind control? Could he make us all jump off a cliff or kill our parents if he wanted to? I mean if he wasn't busy making us believe that the "mission is accomplished" and that "we've turned the corner" and that the PATRIOT Act is "valuable and necessary tool for law enforcement?"

Anybody need some timber?

0 Comments | Link to this post   posted by Teddy 9:55 PM

Oct 14, 2004

From Wired ...

Bill O'Reilly may be the darling of the far right, but Mr. Fair and Balanced is no darling as far as one of his Fox News producers is concerned. Andrea Mackris, 33, filed suit Wednesday, accusing O'Reilly of sexual harassment, saying he initiated unwelcome phone sex with her three times. Mackris, who said she left Fox and then returned only after extracting a promise from O'Reilly, 55, to stop the inappropriate behavior, said in the lawsuit that he threatened her: "If any woman ever breathed a word I'll make her pay so dearly that she'll wish she'd never been born. I'll rake her through the mud, bring up things in her life and make her so miserable that she'll be destroyed." O'Reilly, meanwhile, countersued, and told his viewers that this is "the single most evil thing I have ever experienced, and I've seen a lot. But these people picked the wrong guy." We've strayed a long way from Walter Cronkite, that's for sure.

0 Comments | Link to this post   posted by Teddy 9:11 PM

Oct 6, 2004

An old man talking to a young man in line at Sbarro's on Smithfield street:

Old Man: Are you a dego too?
Young Man: Excuse me?
Old Man: Are you a dego too? Like them.(pointing to the men with the Italian accents working the counter)
Young Man: No, I'm not.
Old Man: You're Greek then. They look alike, you know? The Greeks and the degos. They look alike.
Young Man: No.
Old Man: You know who you can't tell? The Chinese and Japanese. You can't tell them apart.
Young Man: Yeah, well ... I guess everyone looks alike a little.
Old Man: No. Just the Chinese and the Japanese. Can't tell 'em apart.
Young Man: I'm not one of them.
Old Man: Ah. (pause) You're European.
Young Man: No.
Old Man: I'm mean you're a white man.
Young Man: No.
Old Man: You're a white man. I can tell.
Young Man: I'm half Mexican.
Old Man: They're Indian, you know?
Young Man: Some of them.
Old Man: No, they're Indian. All of 'em.
Young Man: Yes, some of them are Indian. Some of them are Spanish.
Old Man: No, they're Aztecs. They fought a war with the Spanish. And the Spanish beat them and took all of their gold. Cortez, you know!
Young Man: Yes.
Old Man: Well, I've got to go. (Pointing back to the pizza guys.) They're degos for sure!

0 Comments | Link to this post   posted by Teddy 9:18 PM

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