Adventures in My Mind
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Feb 28, 2002
I'm not sure were this ranks in the pantheon of political boo boos, but I'm sure it's really, really high!
Ashcroft Sings!
To be kind he was a controversial choice for Attorney General, but if anyone--conservative and liberal alike--had a notion that he would perpetrate such an act of uspeakable horror as this against our nation, there would've been bloodshed!
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 9:52 AM
Feb 27, 2002
The Europeans love to have fun at the simple-mindedness of America. To them, we are a nation of hicks and hillbillies, who couldn't grok the concept of nuance if the differences between merlot and beaujolais were screamed into our ears until we all spoke with noisome little accents. Their cosmopolitan ways and oh so fashionably tight trousers are above and beyond our simple red meat eating lives. In short, they love to poke fun at us for our generalizations and group think mentality. (Two things that should by no means be applauded, nor should we be the only people judged guilty of them.)
So what happens when they (or at least a popular British newspaper) are caught red handed doing the same. This:
Notes From the Olive Garden
Such are the jealous ramblings of the once great empires of Europe, who, let it not go unstated, until 50 years ago declared war on any and all comers for any and all reasons for all of the previous 1,000 years. But we're the jingoistic half-wit that stomps around the backyard shooting our shotgun into the air? Please!
We don't care what happens there because, for the vast majority of Americans, it is irrelevant. It is history. It is textbook stuff to be learned for the next pop quiz and forgotten as quickly. Europeans recognize the truth of this, and it pisses them off to no end. I'm quite sure that when we find ourselves off of center stage we'll do a lot of grumbling too, but fer chissakes, do they have to be so damned obivious about it.
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 10:25 AM
Feb 26, 2002
Many of you know that blogs are de rigueur these days. Everyone has one, and everyone from NPR to Wired are talking about them. Some are great. Some aren't. But either way, it's all about expression. Expression of ideas. Free. Unconstrained. Unfiltered and uncensored. A rather Joycian atmosphere, if you ask me.
Whether your an old pro, constantly refining your craft or a newbie wanting to break into the self-publication ether, A List Apart, has an excellent article on how you can keep your blog up with the Joneses. How to Write a Better Blog by Dennis Mahoney is fertile ground for all bloggers and blogger wannabes. It gives pointers on grammar, voice, and most of all on how to seperate yourself from the herd. The digital din is quite noisy; use these tips wisely.
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 1:31 PM
Feb 25, 2002
Chuck Jones, 1912 - 2002
One of the true greats has gone, and with him a huge portion of the golden days of Hollywood animation goes as well. With his death, only the legacy of the Warner Bros. animation department lives on. Preceeding him were Leon Schlessinger, Friz and Isadore Freeling, Bob Clamplett, Tex Avery, Carl Stalling, Robert McKimson, and, of course, Mel Blanc, the Man of 1,000 Voices. He was the last of the great names that brought us everything from Looney Tunes to the Bugs Bunny/Road Runner Show.
I spent many an idle Saturday morning watching the Bugs Bunny/Road Runner show, memorizing the lines and curves of his legendary characters. While he didn't create Bugs Bunny, the franchise of Warner's animation dept., Bugs really didn't gain his trademark wise-cracker personality until Chuck took over things at Warner's. His other creations are no less memorable: Road Runner, Wile E. Coyote, Marvin the Martian, etc.
My favorite Jones characters, however, other than his fabulous re-work of the Grinch, were the two little boys watching Saturday morning television. One turns to the other and says, "When I grow up, I want to be p-sychiatrist." The other answers, "When I grow up, I want to be a Road Runner. Beep. Beep. Zip! Bang!" It's a nice little moment of reflexivity. We were transfixed by these two Saturday morning characters, while they were transfixed by their Saturday morning characters, the Road Runner and Wile E. Coyote. This 1950s commercial certainly ranks as one of the first attempts of pop culture making fun of pop culture, a true post-modern moment.
Many people have said that Warner Bros. cartoon weren't for kids, and Chuck Jones was the reason why. He knew he was only drawing cartoons, but he knew also that it was all bigger than that. He expected some intelligence in his audience, and we were rewarded with sly references, contemporary jabs, and truths bigger than we knew at the time. Animation was an early stage for risky filmmaking and much thanks goes to Chuck Jones for it still being that way.
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 1:36 PM
Feb 21, 2002
Now more than ever we live in a post-this-or-that world. Every decision is crammed through the minutea funnel of "is this appropriate in light recent events" doublethink. You know, protecting us and our freedoms by impinging upon us and them. The extreme examples are zero tolerance policies that have popped up in the nation's school systems post-Tailhook; post-Jonesboro; post-West Paducah; post-Columbine, and now post-9/11.
These zero tolerance policies have the laudable intent of protecting our children, while having the contemptable effect of crushing them under rigid, byzantine rules that expel and suspend otherwise good children for minor infractions. Can anyone say "knee-jerk reactionary policy?"
Some examples:
Third-grader draws a picture of a soldier. Soldier is carrying weapons (and canteens and first aid kits). Principal finds the picture "upsetting" and in violation of the school's ZT guidelines, and suspends the boy for a day.
An Arkansas first-grader has been suspended three days for pointing a chicken nugget at a a teacher and saying "Pow, pow, pow."
A Missouri fifth-grader has been suspended for drawing a picture of the World Trade Center being hit by an airplane. A representative of the school district explained that this was treated as an actual threat.
Find these and more examples at The Zero Tolerance Follies and Losing My Tolerance for "Zero Tolerance".
What lessons are we teaching with policies like this? Where's the rational judgement? Where's the objectivity? And for god's sake, whatever happened to every case being judged on its own merits? Are we not trivializing real threats and real behavior problems by throwing not only the book, but the entire 13 volume, beautifully leather-bound set at children who are most times only guilty of being children?
Yes, teachers and administrators have a thougher go of it stewarding our children safely through a school day today more so than ever before, but the lure of draconian measures are merely short cut responses created to remove the school systems head from the noose if and when something bad does happen, not to actually protect the children we place in their care on a daily basis. They are seeking to cut corners on difficult issues that require considered thought and practical solutions--two things that America's school systems are woefully lacking these days.
If the absurd examples listed here piss you off, good. They should. Find out what type of Orwellian policies are being passed in your school system in the name of preserving safety. You might be unpleasantly surprised.
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 11:42 AM
Feb 20, 2002
It's official: Appleseed is a girl!
I now have the grand pleasure of re-introducing my daughter, Maeve Elisabeth Carroll.
Sami and I were very happy to see that she lost some modesty since our last trip to sonography. The "butterfly" was clearly visible. Sami cried. Our parents will cry. My crying has yet to begin.
Already I have nightmares of some awkward, pimply-faced, post-pubescent man-boy knocking on the door of Carroll Manor 15 or 16 years from now. "Is Maeve home," he'll croak. "Why, yes. Yes, she is," I'll respond, as I settle back into the Lay-Z Boy and continue to apply a thin layer of 3-in-1 oil to the family shotgun. I'm not kidding either. Don't mess with my daughter! If I don't get you, her brother will. He's already told me.
I'm too young for this kind of stress. Girls scare me. They always have. What do I do now that I'm responsible for one? Time will tell.
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 12:12 PM
Feb 19, 2002
Saw A Beautiful Mind this weekend. Definitely a good movie. Russell Crowe turned another fine performance, even though the story, in copying too many pages from Sixth Sense, was full of some rather large holes.
Ron Howard always leaves me wanting a little more from his direction. He rarely has the ability to tell a story with the camera, which I'm sure is why he is so lauded as an actor's director. Well, it's been my experience that actor's directors can't direct. The filmmaking process is such a manipulative and all encompassing form that one who cannot tap into the rich possibilities of it, other than understanding characterization, is doomed to ultimate failure. This is Ron Howard. The concepts of mood, tone, effect, and manipulation are lost on him, even on a film such as A Beautiful Mind, where manipulation of reality is the key point.
Conversely, someone like Tim Burton, who clearly relishes all of the cinematic tools available to him, is often hard pressed to tell a good story, despite his extensive use and understanding of the visual vocabulary. Why is this? Why aren't filmmakers able to get good performances and setup a good shot. I think of early Coppola, Scorcese, Welles, Peckinpah. I miss the great works of these great filmmakers.
It's sad that I can say that I saw a good movie, but wish that it had lived up to its potential.
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 1:33 PM
Feb 13, 2002
I hate men's and women's magazine. You know the tripe that I'm talking about: Cosmo, Maxim, Details. Their superficial appeal to all that is cool, hip, and sexy is the type of lowest common denominator dumming down of our nation that we should all fear greatly. In many cases it is why extremist muslims want to kill us. Hell, I've been thrown into more than one murderous rage by reading some of their covers! "5 Tips to Make Any Man Want You" "20 Babes to Super Charge Your Super Bowl Party" "Find Out If Your Man is a Dud or Stud: Take Our Sex Quiz" "Six Pack Abs Without Giving Up Your Six Packs" "Getting Down (and up) with Lil Kim"
Who are the low brow neanderthals that fall for this shit? As if your entire sex life can be boiled down to a 10 question survey. As if any one of those scantily clad babes with the bored looks and saline injections would give you the time of friggin day; or that you'd want it if you saw her without makeup and air brush touch ups. These Brad Pit/Jenny McCarthy worshippers need to park their Firebirds and VW Rabbits with the 2-KEWT vanity plates and read a goddammed book!
Yes, it's wonderful to look at people who are gorgeous, but it's another thing all together too buy cellulite cream because Cosmo says that A.J. Benza says that he heard that Jay Lo uses it to make her ass look smaller.
Instead of reading these cheap rags that aren't worth the paper printed on, pick up a copy of Harper's or Atlantic Monthly; or better yet, talk to spouse or significant other. Ask them how their day went. Ask their opinion on something. Do something! Do anything other than drink from the fetid trough that passes for popular culture these days. Live your life, not someone elses.
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 1:44 PM
Feb 12, 2002
I was listening to Billy Joel's Keeping the Faith on the radio the other night and I was really surprised by how much I enjoyed listening to it. I think it was the first time that I took the time to pay any real attention to it. Admittedly, there's a lot of schlocky sentimentality that must be overcome (as with many Joel songs), but once you do, there's a real joy underlying the whole thing - lyrically that it is; musically it's a one trick pony. The nice staccato trumpet works at first and you're really grooving on the syncopated back beat, but in the end the music is terribly unfulfilling. The lyrics, however, are much more promising. Thanks to them alone, the song works.
Basically, the song is about a guy listening to the oldies on the radio and remembering how great it was to grow up in the late 50s/early 60s. You know, the usual talk about pompadours, packs of luckies, do wop, tight sweaters, etc. All things that Joel himself has said are very near and dear to him. Uptown Girl, His poorly realized homage to Frankie Vali and the Four Seasons was an earlier attempt to capture those feelings of his youth. Keeping the Faith is better on a multitude of levels, if only because it wasn't created as a vehicle for a certain supermodel ex-wife.
The song describes Joel's youth and his memories of such as an act of devotion to a time and music that are both long gone. Certainly we all know at least one balding middle-ager--with his cherry 56 Bel Air or 60 Fury--that has a near fanatical devotion to anything that reminds him of those elysian days. The music was better. The cars were faster. The girls were prettier. This is the sentimentality that you have to break through, but again, if you give it that energy, you get paid back in full. As your toe starts to tap and you sing the choir-like chorus, you realize that your not just listening to a piece of bubble gum anymore. Your listening to an accomplished songwriter taking you on a tour of his thoughts and dreams - the true goal of any creative endeavor.
"I thought I was the Duke of Earl / When I made it with a red-haired girl / in the back of a Chevrolet. Oh, yeah! / We were keeping the faith. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, keeping the faith." No poet laureate stuff here, to be sure, but there's a street poetry and honesty to it that reminds you his earlier work - work that kept him rivaling Springsteen as the best lyricist of the 70s. And his performance doesn't suffer from a lack of connection either. He sounds like he truly believes in the words that he saying. He wants us to know what it's like to have been a part of those days, to strut down the street - cuffs rolled, hair greased - trying to impress the girls. We all did it as teens. I just wonder if we'll be able to describe as magically as Joel. I doubt it ...
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 1:34 PM
Feb 11, 2002
I hate the show Survivor, but Sami loves it. Whenever she watches it, I cloister myself in another room with music turned up and as many doors closed between me and the TV as possible. But here's an interesting twist on things ...
My cousin is on the next Survivor!
Much to my dismay, I don't think I'll be able to avoid that abyssmal excuse for pop culture this time around. Shit! Why did he have to go and do that to me? The last thing that I ever wanted was a vested interest in that miserable show!
Argh!
Make some room on the couch, Sami; and pass the pop corn. Go Rotu!
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 9:54 AM
Feb 8, 2002
It's time for Friday Fun Links:
For the Anti-Globalist in you Gene Simmons wants to f*** Terry Gross Jesus heals sickness and banishes sin Axis of Just as Evil This is PBS? This kid should have been spanked, a lot!
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 11:54 AM
Feb 7, 2002
Anyone else excited about the Olympics? I'm always so pumped when it gets to be about time for opening ceremonies. Hopefully tomorrow night's show will be good, with only the requisite patriotism. The Superbowl bordered on maudlin at times. Since the Olympics are more on the world stage maybe we will be spared, and focus will remain on those incredible athletes, where it belongs. Bob Costa should be able to steer us a clear course through the far-reaching connections to Sept. 11. These people have their own incredible stories that deserve to told and not washed away in a sea of American jingoism. NBC has its work cut out.
I'll admit to not really knowing a single name for a single competitor, but come tomorrow night, I'll be many somebodys' biggest fan for the next two weeks. I love the summer games, but the unknown underdog nature of the winter games is great. From the obscurity of 4 a.m. practices at the ice rink to competing in the world's spotlight. What a rush that must be. Good luck everyone!
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 9:21 AM
Feb 5, 2002
Presenting ... Appleseed!
We were supposed to find out today whether Appleseed was a boy or girl, but he/she had his/her own idea of what we would and would not see. So it's back to hospital in two weeks to see what we can see. I guess that gives us time to settle on that boy name, eh Bug?
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 6:24 PM
Feb 4, 2002
More fun with search engines. Here's how people are getting to my site:
Hooligans - Storm over Europe password Figure Skating Sex Steeler Tailgaters Globalism "Globalism Defined" Veal Saltimbucco Kurt Vonnegut Cat's Cradle Resume Pittsburgh Steeler Beer Can Memorabilia The Retro Cocktail Hour This is fun stuff!
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 3:30 PM
Feb 1, 2002
It's been a good week here in Chicago, but it's finally time to go home. Our workgroups with the client gave us some good information. Our dinners afterwards gave us a lot of ... well, let's just say that there were no midnight snacks.
We had a hell of a snow storm here a couple of days ago that dumped more than a foot overnight. It was really impressed that when I we got up that all of the streets were already cleared as well as most of the sidewalks. An army of safety-vested workers swarmed the streets of Chicago, snow shovels in hand.
Traveling is great; coming home is better.
0 Comments | Link to this post posted by Teddy 4:07 PM
